Oh my days: Part 4

Don’t ask and you wont get hurt, that is the policy maintained within my near and dear circles also including my work colleagues, who if you must know, Are my near and dear circles. So when i walked into the office looking like something even a dog would turn his nose up at, my team ignored me just as I expected for we are men and we have many reasons. But when Simba walked in looking like Medusa on a bad hair day, they decided that they cannot maintain the male code any longer and barraged me with a flood of questions and thats when i was struck with a epiphany, that i actually work with bunch of middle aged housewives instead of few good men. Well, whatever. I launched into the my sob story with glee and brought them up to date with my suffering only skipping over the deal i made with simba about him and arthur. As one would expect of middle aged women, they ooh-ed and ahh-ed at all the right junctures and i was pretty pleased with the sympathy i was receiving. We were all sitting inside my office happily gossiping and ignoring work when my office phone rang.

“Hello! Moscovitz speaking.”

“You ass, come in to my room NOW” the devil screamed. 

“Ah? Ok..i...”. the phone clicked. I was shocked to say the least, wondering what got Cassandra into a bad mood.I gulped and barked orders to my men,

“Ok boys. Back to work. I am going to visit the devil.”

“Woah. good luck boss” the boys chorused and went off to work and i walked down to Cassandra’s office.Boss's office was down the corridor from mine. The higher up the ladder you climb, more isolated your office becomes, i noted.The door was open and I walked in nervously. I have always enjoyed the view from her office, knowing full well that one day i might be sitting in there and barking orders and chewing bones like the way she does. Although 'How tacky' is what i think every time i come in here. Which isn't that often thankfully. Cassandra's taste was that of a commoner. Very common commoner that too. 

“Shut the door Ronald”. Alarm bells started ringing because Cassandra always keeps her door open. Always.

“What is it boss? Why the temper”.

“Ronald, irrespective of the way you are, i have always regarded you as a good and a clever worker” she said in all seriousness leaning slightly forward. 

“Yes, i kno..

“You big FOOL” she screamed cutting me off. She slammed a paper on the table and pointed at it. 

“Read it”. Was that a demon i hear howling? or maybe a Banshee. 

Nervously i took the paper and scanned it for its contents. I started shaking my head vigorously after reading the first two lines, no way in hell. No way..No way..

“No way Boss, no way something like this could have...”

“Ronald. You know what this means right? You might get fired. This information is highly confidential. You could be fired or worse end up in jail. How could you have allowed this lapse”?

“Boss, but i have no idea how..” i stuttered..

“Its not only you”, she continued ignoring my interjection, “your entire team could be suspected and all of you could be fired. You obviously will be held responsible, but your boys will lose their jobs as well”.

“Boss.. i..”

“Look Ronald, i trust you. I am very sure the lapse was not on your part, if one of your boys did it, its better if they own up, else all of you will be pulled up for enquiry.Which means, irrespective of the outcome, you will be fired and mostly likely never work in the automobile industry ever.”

“Boss, i can guarantee that neither me nor my boys would have been lax with the design. Someone must have stolen it or something”.

“I have called in Fernando since the matter affects him as well” was the the only response i received. 

We then sat in silence, each thinking about the mess awaiting Fernando. 

“Cassandra” a deep voice called out. We both turned to look at Fernando who walked in looking very serious but calm as well. 

“So,Fernando, i suppose you know what happened right, is this what your superiors were expecting when they sent you here”?

“Yes and no” he replied taking a seat next to me. “ Ronald, i hope you understand the gravity of the situation” he said. I seethed inwardly but just nodded my head and turned towards Cassandra. 

“Fernando apart from being a engineer, he is also part of the Automobile Association which  act as espionage agency protecting the designs and technology of the individual firms before they are patented. You know the kind of competition that exists right? Every firm has its own association in order to protect it from the inside. The existence and the people working for it is a heavily guarded secret. For a while, there were some suspicions of a leak coming in from this office. Hence Fernando was brought in.”

“Ah, but i.. that is to say my boys and i have...”

“Ronald, you are not being blamed for this disaster. But it could have happened due to your negligence or your team mates. That doesn’t mean you are above suspicion. Negligence is also a crime”. Fernando smiled. “ We will be questioning all of you soon, i suggest you go back to your team mates and explain the situation”. 

“Uh.. ok.. i will do that..” muttering stupidly i walked out and closed the door. Last thing i saw was Fernando and Cassandra in some deep discussion. Sighing i walked down the corridor towards my office and motioned for my team to follow me. 

“Hy boss, is everything ok?” Arthur asked concerned.

“Yes, its hell. Come in you guys take a seat and close the door.”I waited until the boys were seated before starting. 

“I have something very important to tell you guys. What i am going to talk about does not leave this room. Got it?” after acknowledging their nods i proceeded to fill them in. 

“It seems, you guys,that the design we were working on for the new lamborgini was leaked to a competitor.” i raised my hands to stop the questions. “Let me finish ok. Ok.. so it seems that the leak came in from our department”. I noted the shock on their face but continued on. “ We are under suspicion and an enquiry will be held. If we are proven to be guilty well i don’t have to continue on that.. Even if we are cleared most likely what awaits us is a demotion, which means we can kiss our careers good bye. Wait. I said listen to me. Anyway if the real culprit is caught and if somehow we can prove that the way the designs were stolen is something none of us could have predicted i.e. a breach beyond our control then we will be cleared with a complete apology from the higher ups. Have you guys heard of the automobile espionage association?”. The boys nodded in the negative. “ Well they are responsible for protecting the designs and such, Fernando was brought in from America because he is part of the association and was handling the american branch, he will be conducting the enquiry. It seems that the company had its doubts about some leak here in this branch that is why the sudden transfer and stuff. Anyway Fernando says that we are in the clear for leak but we still have to prove that we were not negligent. So anyway he will be questioning us sometime today. That is all”. i finished feeling hollow. 

“Ronald, does cassandra believe we had nothing to do with it? I nodded in the affirmative. 

“ Boss", arthur said. "You know it wasn't us right? 

“Of course i do. what kind of idiot you think i am”? i said suddenly angry. “Even if it is negligence, i am the one who will take the blame as i am the boss”. 

“Thats not what arthur meant boss” yusuf said in a gentle voice. “ As long we are not suspicious of each other, that should do it. We are all in this together. Looks like this time, when the boat sinks the entire crew is going down, not just the captain. 

“Thats right boss” robert agreed. “what we need to do is ensure that we answer Fernando’s questions properly. And btw boss do you have anybody in mind?”

“ Thats the thing robert, i don’t have anyone in mind. I mean, i din’t even know such things could happen so who can i suspect. Nobody briefed me about protecting the designs when i joined, so how am i supposed to know?” 

“ Hmm..” awkward  silence filled the room. 

“Ronald.. ?” 

“hmm?”

“ Can it be personnel?” arthur asked

“You mean some one who has a grudge against all of us?”

“Maybe.. not all.. maybe a few”.

“hmmm”...

After a while the conversation began to lull and one by one the boys went back to their stations, disbelief clearly etched on their faces. I sat there thinking for a while wondering how the enquiry is going to be and if Simba was filled in. I really wanted to talk to Simba about this whole issue. He might definitely be able to help me. I was sure of it. A knock on the door brought me back to reality;

“Come in”

“Hi, Ron. Can i have a seat” enquired Fernando in a soft voice.

“What?! Has the enquiry already started?”

“No.No. I just wanted to talk to you”.

“Oh?”even i found my voice to be meek and low.

“Ron. I will come straight to the point. Do you have anyone suspicious in mind? If you do let me know now” he said raising his hand to stop me from interrupting.

“No Fernando. I really have no clue. As in.. i was not even aware that someone could actually steal designs from within this department”.

“How awfully naive of you” the scorn was evident in his voice and i really lost my temper.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW”? i banged my hand on the table with much force

“You think, you can barge in here and start accusing me of being stupid? Who gave you the right? I have been running this department for 2 years and have never once had any problem.I have no need to listen to the likes of you. Now leave before i throw you out”. I raged breathing through my mouth, letting out all the stress and tension i have been feeling for the past few days. 

Oh my days: Part 3

It was around 2 and i finally decided to get some lunch after having turned down numerous lunch invitations as i wanted to avoid bumping into Fernando as much as possible. I gloomily made my way to the cafeteria and people made way for me as i walked along the aisle, mind you its not because i am a prince or something, for i was giving out a dark aura which i assume people wanted to avoid at any costs. ‘Sigh!’ muttering to myself in order to enhance my depressing aura i slouched towards the salad bar. 

“ Hy ronny” i heard a voice behind me.

“Woah. Whats with the puppy dog eyes"? Simba enquired. 

“ Dumbass can you not feel my depressing aura?” i sharply hissed while plying my plate with cheese and potatoes. 

“ Go easy on the cheese mate. You don’t want to gain weight do ya?” 

“ Hmph! I heard cheese makes you feel better”.

“ Thats sugar, fool”

“ Is that right? Fine. Whatever. Its my cheese. Don’t touch it” i swatted Simba’a hand angrily. 

Dear reader i ask you. You felt my dark depressing aura did you not? Then why is this fool of a friend not feeling my Aura. My aura? Even after telling him that i am feeling несчастный( meaning miserable in russian, You need to spit at the end of the word. The pronunciation goes something like.. ni..sshezzz..ni. Spit flies out in the end and that made me feel very good. Thank you Russian Grandma) This fool does not enquire about whats ailing me. 'Hmph. I should severe ties with him. Yes i should. I wonder what was the point of having the previous conversation? hmm'. 

“Simba you moron. Are you even listening? I said i am eating cheese to make me feel better. This is when you should enquire in a very soft voice, ‘What happened dear Ronny’.Fool”, i sneered while my pride took another beating with an extra strong bat. If this continued i would not find a bag big enough to fit my broken pride pieces into. 

“ What? Eh? ohh. Did something happen?” Simba asked in a voice so insincere that i would have upturned my cheese bowl on his head and churned it to make milk (note the pun here dear reader) if only it was not the cafeteria. I take back everything i said about him. He is never going to have my underwear for sure. Never. 

“ Hey,  did something really happen? Why are you angry all of a sudden?”

“ Yes something happened but you are not going to find out. I am going to find new friends. Bye bye.” I said walking away from simba. ‘Hehe that should teach him’ grinning to myself i went in search of a seat knowing simba will follow me and applying glue to my recently broken pride piece.

I pulled up a chair and waited for simba to follow suit, only he never did. For that matter, he wasn’t even near me. In fact he wasn’t even in the cafeteria, i realized while scanning the area for him. ‘The hell? Seriously.’ i bit back a torrent of abuse and looked at my cheese and potato suddenly feeling miserable and alone. Even Robinson Cruso, dear reader would not have felt this alone when he was marooned. Why, even Albert II the first monkey in space would not have felt this alone when he must have realized that he was never going back to his dear ol’ earth. How cruel! Leaving the poor monkey to die in space, just because that poor Albert II could not speak. Humans! i tell you, what horrible creatures. ‘Oh you poor Albert II’! my heart suddenly chocked up with sympathy for that poor rhesus monkey. ‘Oh?! Wait. If Albert II was the first monkey to go into space, then what happened to Albert I, or should i say Albert the original? ‘Oh the cruelty’. I felt a deep connection with all the Albert’s of this world. Sympathizing with the poor creatures i finished my lunch forgetting all about Fernando and Simba and went back to my cabin oddly happy. Thank you Albert I & II. My pride and the bag lay forgotten in a dark moth filled corner of a dirty old morgue. 

At about 6 i realized that if i sat on my ass any longer i would become part of the office furniture, so i decided to leg it as the office furniture collection was of bad taste and I or royal upbringing would not fit in amongst these local molded in-animates. After all if i wanted to be a furniture i rather be one of The Louis XVI displayed in the palace of Versailles in Paris ( Versailles). Ah, my pride dear reader had many more layers than you originally thought. Humming slightly off-key i walked out of the building without saying any goodbyes and sniffing at the Vehicle safety department.‘Take that’. 

I will not bore you, dear reader about how i reached home in spite of a heavy traffic jam and i will also not comment about how miserable(nishezni :P) i was feeling and take no notice of the anger radiating out of me, as they hold no consequence. None at all. After all i was ditched by my so called ‘Best Friend’. My feelings obviously does not matter to anyone. So take no notice if i kick that kitten or blow raspberries at that annoyingly cute couple taking shelter from the rain or if i trip and fall on the staircase leading up to my room. See, the whole world is out to get me. Anyway i came home and had nice hot bath and had pasta for dinner and was just settling down to watch the confounded television with beer in my hand when my doorbell rang. 

“ Who is it?” i called while unhooking the chains

“ It’s I” came the reply as i opened the door. 

Slam!! ‘Wow. i just broke the sound barrier’. 

“Oi Ronny! What the heck was that for?” Simba hissed while rubbing his nose. 

“Ahaha. Take that!” i giggled while watching through the peephole. 

“Ronny. Come on man. Open up. Whats wrong with all of you today? The boss was in a horrible mood and..”

I cut simba off mid sentence, “ Fernando was pissed? Ya obviously he was” i added as an afterthought 

“Ya. Now will you let me in? I came to talk to you”

“ Fine come in” opening the door and letting Simba in.

“ Wait a minute. What do you mean obviously? eh?”

“Ah” i shuffled on my feet trying to avoid looking at simba who was glowering at me.

“What the heck did you do?” Simba asked grabbing the front of my shirt. “ Are you the reason why i had to stay back at the office. Not just me, our entire team is still in there, i managed to slip out to see you, you little runt” 

“ Here, have a beer while you listen” i suggested, pulling up the ottoman to rest my feet. After a dramatic sigh, a sip of beer, and some throat clearing i started explaining about what happened in the morning with Michael. Simba  ‘Ooh’ed and ‘Ah-ed’ at all the rite junctures and “That was what happened today” i finished grandly looking at simba while making sure i played the victim’s part rite to the V. 

“Ahhaaaahhhaaaaa” Simba bellowed, wiping the tears of his eyes while clutching his stomach. 

“ Seriously? Michael got you din’ t he? Ahhahhaaaa. But you poor thing. Why din’t you explain yourself to Fernando? You are good at smooth talking.”

“Well, i would have. If only he wasn’t giving me a ‘ You are smaller than a smallest micron hair tip of a porcupine’ look, i would have told him. I would have, and while i was at it, i would have kicked Michael as well. But i just couldn’t.. do anything”.

“But why would Fernando get so pissed? I mean, he has no reason to. Unless...”

“Unless what?” maybe there is hope for me after all. 

“Hmm. Am not too sure. See, you din’t actually ask Fernando out. So he should have just dismissed your talk as office gossip, rite? Thats normal. But for him to actually get pissed off.. there has got to be a reason”.

“ Oh! its not because he hates me is it”.

“Ah!  i overlooked that possibility. Maybe he doesn’t want to be associated with you”.

“ Simba you ass, What the heck did i do?” my voice began to crack.

“ Ha. But he did seem friendly during the meeting” i nodded vigorously not wanting to disrupt simba’s train of thought. 

“ Well, maybe something happened in the past? With some colleague or a friend, and he disapproves of office romance.”

“Hmm. could be. Hy Simba, Why did Moore, your previous boss resign suddenly? And why did they have to get a replacement from America?

“ Oh, Moore got promoted into the top ranks mate, and as for why an American i have no clue, maybe Fernando applied at the right time. Now that you mention it. Why an American? hmmm. Guess i will ask around for your sake. In return, you can do something for me.”

“ State it, my blood brother and you shall get it” 

“ Arthur was it? Set us up mate and i shall dig deep into Fernando”

“Arthur? Oi Simba, Arthur as in my team mate Arthur? Oi.Oi. He is ram-rod straight.”

“Ahaaa. Fool. He is not straight. He is as gay as i am.”

“Really?  I had no clue.Fine then. I will try. But why Arthur?”

“Ah..” we then gossiped about Arthur, put across various theories about Fernando , Cassandra, Barrack Obama, Yoko ono(even i don’t know how. Neither of us are beatles fans) and like teenaged boys on a excess sugar and pent up sexual frustrations fell asleep with the TV on. 

Oh my days: Part 2

*(All thoughts are in italics)

I woke up the next day feeling a little green and blue and all the colors in between, after downing a bottle of antacid and spending extra half hour in the toilet, i was effectively a bright shade of purple by the time i reached my office floor.  I was greeted by my friend-for-life, my la-confidante, my blood brother, my only-ray-of-hope, Nathan running down the aisle towards me, his mane billowing behind him and i thought ‘Ya, Simba is perfect for you’, Damn i wish i had a cool nickname. 

“Ronny!” he laughed, “ I am guessing you already saw the hot stuff?” 

“Hot stuff? Whats that? i asked perplexed. 

“ Oh! come on. Heard you gave him a tour yesterday? He is so your type isn’t he?” Simba guffawed. “Eh? you mean Fernando? Its a no go for me dude. He has a mate!?” I replied trying to keep the bitter to the minimum. 

“ What? eh? No way. But man did you see the goods on him?Wow is all i can say. Wish i could have him. Ahahhha” he rattled on. 

“Simba” I said sternly, “ That guy has a lover, i am guessing he hasn’t come out yet, so better not talk about it. And yes he is so my type man. I tried to get his attention yesterday and failed miserably dude. Miserably” 

“ Eh? seriously? Someone who din’t fall for your charms? Ah! a wise guy. I respect him already” 

“ Oh shut up Simba. I am really miserable right now” i said walking towards the cubicle and waving for my team mates to join me in the room. Simba, i realized was part of Vehicle safety team, which meant right with Fernando. Simba was actually tipped to take over except that the management felt he din’t have enough experience, for Simba right after graduating went home to New zealand to take care of his family’s farm for a year and came back looking like a sheep himself, maybe the top heads thought he was an idiot. Ya, who goes back to a farm after finishing with top honors in your masters? Oh in case i failed to mention, Simba was the first guy i slept with.Ya he is gay. Not a bi. But gay. We were together until we graduated, then went our separate ways. But we still remain best of friends, you know the sort where we will give up our underwear for the other. 

I stood near the huge drawing board waiting for my team mates to assemble, ‘My Team’ i grinned proudly. “Woah, Boss you are creeping us out” rang a highly aggravating voice. Arthur, Yusuf, Robert are the fellows in my team. A Reverse Harem i could say, all decent looking scoundrels, but predictably not my type. We are of pretty much the same age, so we get along pretty fine. In fact too well much to my chagrin. 

“So boss, am guessing  your creepy grin is because of Fernando?”. 

“Ah Fernando? So did you make a move yet Boss?” Yusuf said punching me on my arm. 

“ Not answering that Yusuf,Any case settle down now and behave cause The other team will be here and i want to put up a good impression else She-Devil will kick my ass” i warned as i pulled up a chair and sat down next to Arthur. I started explaining the new project to the boys and handed out the folders designating tasks for each member of the team, it was actually quite easy because this current project is our fourth together and first with me as the team lead. I might not sound too excited bout my first job but then ever since i joined the team i have pretty much been the lead as my previous team boss loved to pile the work on my head, so this is like my fourth job as the lead. 

“ Enough of self gloating Ronny” Simba called out as he entered the room couple of hours later, followed by Fernando and the rest. Fernando. Fernando.’There was something in the air that night,The stars were bright, fernando’ the lyrics played out in my head. What!? what?! my heart thumped loudly as i looked straight at Fernando."There was something in the air that night,The stars were bright, fernando. Argh!! Stop i muttered out loud, shaking my head vigorously. 

“Are you alright Ronny?” Simba laughed out loud, the rest of my team did the same and i could feel my cheeks radiate heat. ‘Oh god.what did i just do?!’ 

“ Ya. Ya am fine, Slightly distracted that is all” i said feigning normality, i looked up to see Fernando, trying to block out the sneer and laughter around me. Fernando, he was looking straight at me. His eyes were looking right into mine and i could feel my cheeks colour, His gaze was so thoughtful, like he was trying to see something that wasn’t there. ‘Oh please, don’t tell me he realized. You guys shut up’. I was urging my legs to bolt out the door when mercifully Arthur called out for all of us to settle down. I took a sip of water and muttered some words urging my heart to calm down and not look at Fernando. I din’t want to make an ass of myself (any more than i already have) in front of 10 other people. Anyway i walked to the projector screen and started my presentation as i was a complete professional when it came to my job. Through out the presentation my eyes kept darting towards Fernando, and occasionally i smiled up at him, willing him to see me in good fluorescent light, knowing very well that full frontal view was my best angle. Fernando for his part, returned my smile and asked questions at the right situations. When my part was done, i tool my seat and Simba continued on. I was looking at simba intently when i felt a hand creep up my thigh slowly, and jerked my head to see Michael grinning at me slightly while rubbing my thighs, 

“Cut it out” i hissed swatting at his arm 

“Aww come on ronny, its just me” 

“ We are at work Michael, you should know better”. 

"Hmph, whatever!” he muttered folding his arms and sulking. 

I shook my head and turned back towards simba wondering what the heck i saw in Michael and deciding to end it today after work. Out of the corner of my eye i saw Fernando looking at me  with a slight frown on his face. ‘ Shit. Shit! did he see that?’ i started panicking trying not to look at Fernando, i stared intently at Simba who was finishing up his presentation. Fernando got up and cleared his throat “Hello guys, i haven’t formally introduced myself, my name is Fernando Villa, pleased to meet you all. Hence forth i will be taking care of the Vehicle safety department. Lets all work well together” he said,smiling at everyone and as his eyes met mine, i grinned back and gave him a thumbs up sign and he returned my gesture. ‘oh thank god, nothing is amiss’ i thought while walking out of the room towards my desk when Michael called out to me. 

“Ronnnny” he drawled running his hand through his hair, “ Listen, i was thinking of coming over tonight...

“Michael, i am busy tonight. I don’t have time for you right now” i replied curtly hoping he would leave me alone.  

“ Eh? come on man. I know you have nothing scheduled for today”. 

“What are you? A stalker” i huffed at him, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. 

“ Just so you know, i am meeting Simba for dinner and drinks and no you are not welcome ”. i finished grandly. Although i previously had no intention of doing such a thing. Impulsive is a new trait that i am adding to my character as of today

“What? Why are you leaving me out?” Michael asked

“Ssshh. Keep it down fool”.

“But why?” michael asked looking flustered.

 “Thats because i want to move on.Look i can’t explain things to you right now but we can talk later ok. i have to go now” 

“ But you seemed to have lot of fun when i was riding you the day before” michael said in a raised voice. 

“Oh for pete’s sake! will you keep it down?" I said while clamping his mouth with my hand. "Look i  have to go. Will you move?" 

“ No!”

“What? What do you mean no?” 

“ It means i am not moving until i get a proper response from you”. ‘Jeez!’ i mentally cursed my new character trait. 

“Fine, if you have to know, i happen to like someone else.Ok? Now will you move?”

“Who? ahh no way! don’t tell me. Fernando? He is your type isn’t he? 

“Oh shit” michael howled in pain as i kicked his shin, 

“Keep it down or next time it will be your balls. Now move”. i said pushing michael aside. ‘Seriously!’ i fumed. 

Why does everyone assume i would have fallen for Fernando. Eh? Am i that easy to read or what? I could feel my anger radiate and if you would have come near me, you could remove the crease off your fine suit. Still muttering i looked up to see Fernando standing right above me. When i say right above me, i literally mean right above, the place wherein i was talking to Michael is sort of like a cove, and the Vehicle Safety Department is situated just above it. It forms a half ‘T’ from the side view. Ha thats the designer in me speaking. 

I was startled to see him, was putting it mildly, It must have shown on my face because Fernando narrowed his eyes even further when our eyes met. I have never once in my entire life wished the floor would swallow me, EVER. But right now, i would give anything for the railing in which Fernando was leaning to collapse and he to fall and me to catch him like they do in the movies just so i could raise my points up by say a million in his eyes. Was that scorn? disdain perhaps? or anger i saw in his eyes? 

“Quite a presumptuous snob aren’t you?” Fernando whispered. 

That was when i realized even if i saved Fernando, his mom, his little sister( if he had one), his entire clan, his ancestors, right down to the cave men when the railing collapse, i would still be no less than a ‘presumptuous snob’ in his eyes. 

 I did the best thing i could at that point. I spluttered.

Without replying, or so much as a glance again at me Fernando walked off. 

“He heard din’t he?” Michael looked delighted and slightly evil as he grinned at me and i swear at that moment i really did see black fumes emitting from his mouth. 

“ Having fun at my expense aren’t you.Thanks a lot for that Michael. But see i don’t care what he thinks about me. Well then, see you around”. i fought back and walked off with my head held high unwilling to let Michael bask in his victory. ‘Victorious, you can only feel when the defeated lets you feel’ my russian grandmom used to say and she should know. 

I spent the rest of the day not moving an inch from my seat, replaying what Fernando said over and over again and feeling even more depressed with each replay. 7pm could not come any sooner, all i wanted was Simba to comfort me. Simba you see, has a knack of cheering me up. No one else can do it the way he does. ‘Ah!Simba’ my heart felt spring again, even if it was for a fraction of a second. 

Oh my days: Fanfiction

Yaoi FanFiction: Oh My Days!!

“ One mocha large. Make it skinny will you?”  I ask the the girl behind the counter giving her my most disarming smile. The girl blushes; Naturally. How many people do actually smile at the counter girls/boys hmm? Anyway to come across my smile would have definitely made her day. I grin to myself and take my coffee, oops mocha to my favorite spot in the far end of the cafe and settle down to obviously look at the people around and comment,appreciate,criticize,commend everything bout them rite down to their underwear if i can see it rise above their jeans. This is a habit i have picked up, to come to this very normal looking cafe, which is situated right between Italian service bureau and cafe express which is italy’s well known coffee shop. When i ordered for mocha did u think i was in starbucks?? bah!!! This is Italy. There are no starbucks here, if they were, they will obviously close down. We in the sense, people here do not appreciate the american excuse for coffee. Anyway getting back to the point about the habit i have developed, coming to the cafe is a new one but this commenting, appreciating, criticizing, commending about people is something i have been doing for quite a while. Call me a snob and you wouldn’t be half wrong, after all i do wear Armani suit, a L.V watch and gucci shoes. Well thats my affluence speaking for you, in my business it pays to be well dressed.  Well i am an Interior Designer. What? did i just hear you say cliche? Hold your horses there. When i said interior designer i meant Vehicle interior Designer. Yes it is a job and its as macho as tree lugging. YES! and it pays a hell lot ,of course now you can wonder what my dressing has got to do with the job! 

I, Ronald Graham Moscovitz 26 yrs of age work for Lamborgini. As a interior designer. I am half russian and half british as you can see, i inherited my Dad’s Height, Brown hair and blue eyes. Thankfully i did not inherit anything from my mother except for the dimples. Because you know, british women/men are well not really upto my taste. I have a french grandmother, and hence the snobbish attitude of mine, as i grew up in Paris surrounded by arts, civilized people and delicious cakes. Not the cold and rain which is the only thing connecting russia and Britan, and no i stopped visiting my paternal grandmother as soon as i turned 14. She started visiting after that. Sigh! 

Anyway back to the cafe, as i said its a new habit i picked up, basically because i, upon arriving in Barcelona  have turned into a stalker in the past few months. Ok! Not the type you are imagining. A more refined one. A refined stalker if you may. But a stalker nevertheless. I have had one sided crushes back in my days, say when i was 5 or 6, but since puberty women and men fall at my feet. Initially i was bi-curious, then became a bi,and now gay sometimes sleeping with women. I have sort of evolved. I find women very tiring, to say the least. Actually i stared sleeping with men just to get rid of this one very persistent girlfriend of mine. Then i realized i actually like it with men better. Hmm. since you asked i will tell you. I do both. I can be the pitcher and the batter as well. I prefer to keep rotating. I do have a habit of digressing as you can see. 

Anyway back to the point, you see, one day when i was getting ready to escape from the office to catch a opera show( my refined tastes are glaringly obvious here) i was called in by my boss who is a very amiable, friendly demon named Cassendra Fluval. It was when i entered her office that i momentarily lost my vision, my heart skipped a beat and everything else happened just as it is described in “10 signs to know when its love” . Only i did not get the man i wanted, instead i turned into a stalker. Oh my Days!!! Fernando Villia ( Vi-ya) 28 yrs of age, spaniard brought up in America, NY to be exact, Bachelor degree in Automobile Engineering with a minor in Electrical engineering, masters degree in Vehicle Safety with a minor in vehicle electronics,worked for Toyota for 5 yrs, was in a way a complete gear head obviously with no appreciation for the fine arts. Evidently was also the most good looking man i have ever laid eyes on, when i am not looking into the mirror. 

Imagine when u finally meet a man who matches all your fetishes to the F. Glasses check! Long hair check! 3-day stubble check, although that might be due to the traveling, never mind that. Check! Tall-dark-handsome Triple check!  Will you blame me if i turned into one? hmm? Will you blame me if i actually jumped him then and there? hmm?? Sigh!! The reasons as to why i became a stalker are to follow in the next few lines, read carefully. I will not repeat! 

“ Hy ron, meet Fernando Villia, Fernando this is Ron, the slacker from paris” said cassandra as she introduced us. “ That slacker comment is totally unwarranted boss” i grumbled as i shook Fernando’s hand. Hmm. Nice firm shake, palm is strong, no sweat, long fingers, i mentally judged Fernando’s handshake while beaming a 200 volt smile at him. He in return gave me a friendly look while sizing me up.“Nice to meet you ron. Hope you can give me a tour of this place as i will be starting work from tomorrow” he said in a soft guttural tone that was like soft bass to my ears and i decided to forgo the opera for which i had purchased a new suit and had an VIP invite as well. “Expect the unexpected”. “Be prepared” was my policy anyway. I seem to have digressed again as my boss bonked me on my head and said, “Ron!! Listen to me now. You can dream later. Are you paying attention?” i meekly nod my head and she continued “ As i was saying, Ron, Fernando is the new head of  vehicle safety department and your team will be working directly with them. Although i don’t approve of it, you are the team lead so show fernando around, get to know the new team as well. ok?” Oh he is the new boss.Wow.“Will do boss, no worries, you can trust me on that” i said as i ushered fernando out of the office, making a conscious effort not to look at my now ‘currently directing evil laser beams’ at me boss.

 “ God she hates me” i sigh while delicately touching fernando’s arm. “Woah There” i gushed not realizing that i spoke out loud, “ oh, i swim almost everyday”Fernando smiled. “ Is that right? I swim too. A lot!” i lied happily. My most strenuous physical activity includes  wiping my brow after a visit to the shop-floor. “ So, ron how long have you been here? and by-the-way how is the boss? Fernando asked while rising his eyebrow slightly, “ Ah! Sorry, was just sms-ing a friend to cancel an appointment.” “oh sorry, is that because of me?” Fernando apologized. “ Oh no of course not” i laughed, because you know, it essential to be friendly with a greek god incarnation. “ Ya, so i joined here right after my masters, so that makes it 3 years now, and about the boss, well, what can i say? Wolf in sheep clothing? maybe. Actually she is not that bad, quite friendly, she doesn’t like me much though cause you know I once criticized her suit”. i said matter of factly,although deep down i resent the fact that she doesn’t like me, cause I am always liked. period.“hmmm” muttered Fernando and preferred to remain quite for the rest of the tour, while i went babbling about the office and the shop-floor and gossiped quite a bit about the people who work there and so on.  I would have kept my monologue for a longer period when Fernando interrupted me “ Ron, hy is there a coffee shop here? not starbucks. Something more authentic?” 

“ Oh! ah ya there is a cafe express and another shop next to it as well” i said, while mentally registering that he doesn’t drink Starbucks and also while my sub-conscious made me realize that i don’t drink coffee. Blame my british genes, but i prefer my Tea. 

“ Is it far from here?” Fernando asked as he whipped out his mobile phone “Ah, no about 5 minutes walk from here” i replied while keeping my eyes peeled on his phone. 

“ Ok, thats close enough, i am asking my friend to come over as i want to go around town and get to know the place, as i only just arrived. My friend has been living here for 2 years now” Fernando said oblivious to my telepathic communication in which i am trying to get him to ask me to show him around. Oh well, never works that way does it? I sighed as we reached cassandra’s empty office. The entire tour took us about an hour and a half and by that time, almost everybody had left and the office wore a desolate look. “ Thanks for showing me around Ron, really appreciate it” said Fernando while extending his arm.” 

"Oh! its alright.I am really looking forward to working with you too Fernando” i said shaking his hands and looking into his eyes. 

“ I better make my way then, because Eiben( E-ben) will be here soon, Eiben and i went to college together, and haven’t seen him in a while” explained Fernando making his way to towards the exit. 

“Oh, ok then, have fun and see you tomorrow” i muttered while watching him leave. 

Sighing i took my time to pack my bag and leave, when god knows how, i was suddenly hit by a brain wave. Looking back at that moment, 4 months later, i din’t realize that 7:15pm may 7th would be the reason why i cringe with acidity and constipation every morning.  Fifteen minutes later i found myself entering Cafe Nero and walking towards the counter to order tea like i normally do but due to divine interference, i started scanning the coffee section of the menu which i have never ever done in 26 years of my existence. I have always looked down on coffee from great heights, cringing my nose and affecting hatred and disdain to those who drink that bitter liquid which always reminds me of pits of hell. Since i have no idea about coffee, i closed my eyes and randomly picked one and it turned out to be some concoction called cafe mocha. After placing my order, i  looked around hoping to spot Fernando and Iben( aha! take that you) and unable to spot them i took my coffee to the farthest corner in nero and sat down. 

Great spies will tell you that when looking to spot someone in secret make  sure you can never be spotted. Keeping that in mind, i whip out my glasses and held the menu up to hide my face, now that my disguise was in place i proceeded to intently stare at the entry doorway. Ten minutes later, i was still intently staring at the entrance sipping my second cup of coffee, this time called latte (seriously, why can’t they just call it coffee? Tea is always called Tea no matter where it comes from. I mean imagine black tea, smells like jasmine-tea, choco-tea and so on. Argh i can feel a migraine coming) when it suddenly occurred to me that Fernando could be straight. I have a iron clad rule. Never fall for a hetro guy and i take pride in spotting a gay guy miles away so i was pretty sure Fernando was gay. But why hasn’t he turned up yet? I was getting really bored waiting in the over crowed, extremely noisy cafe. Another ten minutes later i am about to leave when my heart skipped a beat and i turned around to see Fernando walk into the cafe with Iben( No- i refuse to call him Eben. Yes, i am childish). Just as every self respecting man/women in love will do, i gave  my rival a quick once-over. I refuse to acknowledge Iben’s good looks, good build, good clothes, good taste. In short i refuse to acknowledge the very existence of Iben. To me the only person who walked in was Fernando. Move over Iben i screamed in my head. I saw them walk to the counter, i saw them order coffee ( Fernando got mocha as well. Aha! match made in heaven) and i pretended not to see the way Iben looked at Fernando. Oh his eyes spoke love. Damn it. I have serious competition. The only reason i am still in the land of living and not in a state of comatose in the hospital due to heart-shatter( yes, it is a major ailment afflicting the young and the restless) was because Fernando eyes were devoid of love. Yay me. But their closeness made me wonder if they were a couple back in college, like i already mentioned, i am pretty good at this kind of work. They must have been. I sighed quite audibly and the girl next table thought i was burping. No it was a sigh. i am sure. Anyway they got their take-aways and walked out, from where i was perched i could see them get into a Red Maserati and they drove away leaving me with my thoughts and cup of hell. I sighed again and decided to call it a day after downing 5 cups of hell-broth. 

TBC....